


Excellence

by Salmaka



Category: The Technomancer (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Feels, Gen, It's like a Storyception at some point, Origin Story, POV First and Third Person, Salmaka's Expanded Universe, Story within a Story, Usage of Headcanon(s), Within a Story, dark themes, mild PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 06:32:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15989636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salmaka/pseuds/Salmaka
Summary: My journey continued like this for more than a week now. A week on the run from everything I was my whole life. What I meant to become. A week without any interaction with anyone. A week without a proper meal and without any water. Moving from one shadow to another.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The origin story I never thought I will write, but you know how it is... So I hope you will enjoy it!
> 
> This is a big step for me as a writer. An origin story for my original character - that means to throw away all the crutches the game provided for me to use in my stories so far. It was a challenge and I hope I managed.

Every time I closed my eyes all I saw were the horrors of the battle, could hear the screams and gun-fire. Smoke and mud everywhere.

And that’s why I didn’t sleep in three days.

It made my run a bit harder. My body was so tired, the pulsing pain was shooting into my left hand and my legs hurt from nonstop walking, but I kept going. The farther from that shadow-damn battlefield the better. The farther from any signs of Aurora the better, too.

I was hungry, too.

All I could manage to catch were some small animals hiding in the pits in the sand. They didn’t taste good, but it was better than starving to death.

I didn’t know where I was going either. Just _away_.

When I ran away from the battle it was at night, so I didn’t need to worry about the Sun for a few hours till the morning. Only when the first rays started to peek from the horizon I used one of the many canyons as my route. This canyon was pretty wide, and the path was visible near one of its high walls.

Path means people. Or migrating animals.

I wasn’t sure what I would prefer at this moment. Animals mean trouble most of the time. The wildlife on Mars is, well, wild and even the smallest of creatures are troublesome. I learnt this lesson the hard way.

And I didn’t feel like meeting people either. People mean questions. Questions like, **why** am I here in the middle of nowhere, **who** am I, **where** am I came from and where am I going… I was too tired to answer any of these.

The canyon led my tired legs to the south. The Sun visible from the canyon only in the middle of the day but I could keep walking in the shadows of its walls even then. Most of the times.

And then suddenly, after four days, it ended. It was middle of the day and all I could see was an endless plain of sand and rocks. Rocks were too small to provide a satisfactory shadow. Plus, I would have to run from one spot to the other. Two days back I made a makeshift hood out of my long and useless cape but that won’t be enough against the Sun.

No. This is not good. I had to wait until night to continue on my travels.

I sat down and leaned my back against the wall and my body immediately thanked me. The tempo I had was slow but steady these past few days. And I only rested for a few hours in the deepest of the night when I couldn’t see on my own feet. And when I fell asleep I didn’t sleep for long.

The images always returned.

_The young soldiers with nailguns too big in their shaking hands are laying in the mud. Their eyes big with fear or eagerness, that depends on the personality or experience of the man. I with others of my kind are few meters behind them._

_“_ The young ones are expendable. More than you are. _” That’s what the oldest of the officers said. I don’t like him._

_I myself am not much older than the kids in the soldier’s uniforms. The fact that neither of them went through any kind of training is alarming. I maybe have more in my sleeve than them, but I still feel unprepared for this._

_And then there are the men and women on the other side of the line. How can they win against the biggest and better-trained army on Mars?_

I woke up with a start. My heart was beating with a speed of a running ostrich. When I looked up at the sky I saw it was getting darker. I ran my gloved fingers through my short hair and stood up.

Time to go.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Why did you stop?” a teenager on her right protests. He’s laying on his back, his only hand under his head. Looking up at the stars while listening to her story.

They exchanged a little about their lives when they met so Andrew already knows some of it. However, that doesn’t mean he isn’t listening.

“Because it’s getting late and we need to rest. Don’t worry I will continue,” Shiro promises and stands up.

“Did the memories from the front disappeared?” he asks, now sitting and looking at her. His hair ruffled.

"Some, yes. But not all of them. But hey, I would skip these parts if I wasn’t comfortable with talking about them. Now go to sleep, Pumpkin,” she says and smothers the fire.

Meanwhile, Andrew grabs their sleeping bags to put them farther into the cave they found to spend the night in. Thanks to his "job" at that piece of shit Marcello, the kid is very experienced in how things work and what must be done while on travels.

It was only by a small miracle she managed to persuade the trader to let the teenager come with her. One more minute of talking with him and she would punch him right in the gut and the poor kid must work under him nonstop.

That was a month ago.

Andrew, who is now the same age as she was when she ran away, needs this more than he thinks he does. Not only because he needs to learn how to have his powers under control, but it will also help him survive the rest of his years he will spend with that jerk. He’ll have nice memories he can cherish.

She looks around their camp one more time and then walks into the cave. Despite the complains only a few minutes ago, at the time Shiro lays down, Andrew is already sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story was originally written in the third person, with only one timeline and you would learn her name or who is she much later in the story. (well you could always look at the tags *le shrug* DON'T look now!) Then I got an idea and the story became what it is now.


	2. Chapter 2

My journey continued like this for more than a week now. A week on the run from everything I was my whole life. What I meant to become. A week without any interaction with anyone. A week without a proper meal and water. Moving from one shadow to another.

My throat was killing me. My lips were chapped and my skin too tight on mine weaken muscles. My arm was still on fire, but I didn’t dare to look at the wound. Only bandaged it tightly over a sleeve of my ruined uniform. I knew I could not carry on like this for long. Whether I liked it or not I will have to find some people or at least some hints of them. My survival instinct was too strong to just die here alone in the middle in nowhere.

What happened next was exactly the opposite in what I was hoping for or wanted.

It was early evening and I was still on the move, walking across the wide plains when I heard a weird sound. I looked around but couldn’t see anything, so I continued walking. However, the sound was still there. And if my ears didn’t play games with me, it was getting closer.

I was constantly looking over my shoulders to see what was the source of it. Then I saw. Four ostrich’s riders coming from the west, illuminated by the remnants of blue sunset. They were getting closer, their ostriches fast on the sand. I knew they will get me eventually if I don’t find someplace to hide. Of course, at that moment I didn’t know if they are friendly or not. But I won’t bet my neck just to find out. I never did, and I never will.

And of course, they were not friendly. As they were getting inevitably closer and closer, they finally noticed me. And the moment they did, their animals speeded up and I could hear their shouts.

“Get them!”

“Looks like we found ourselves a prey, boys!”

“Let the best wins!”

I was already running at that point, but I knew I need to speed up to survive. And so, I gathered the rest of my non-existed strength and ran faster. I knew they are playing with me. How else explain that they didn’t catch up on me yet? They were enjoying the _hunt_.

“Why do you hate me?” I shouted into the night. However, my voice lacked its normal strength and the sound coming from my mount wasn’t more than a dry imitation of my voice. I was lucky I didn’t start coughing.

The sand slowly changed into a rock and I could gain some extra speed before they too reach this turning point. My advantage didn’t last long, though. The flat ground turned into a hill under my tired feet. My only bright thought, as I was nearly climbing, was hope that the animals aren’t excellent at this type of terrain.

Could it be?

The moment I was over a hill I saw dim lights settled in the nearby valley. My legs carried me down the mild descent before my brain sent the order to do so. Houses down below were my best chance to survive this night. If not the only chance. The sand under my legs took me by surprise and was unstable, but I took it as an advantage and used it to slide down faster. I couldn’t hear my pursuers over the sound of my own heartbeats and breath and my body worked purely on adrenaline at this moment.

All ended with a short fence and a three meters high drop and so I had to jump. My weak legs collapsed under my weigh and I hit the ground hard with an audible crack. My whole body landed on the already wounded left hand and I cried out in pain. My vision went white and I could feel the blood seeping through the layers of fabric.

But I must go on.

In front of me was an open space filled with lines of vegetables and crops bordered by a natural rock wall. On the farther corner of the farm were stairs down and I could see a metal wall.

There must be a house down there.

I used the tall stems of the crops as a cover on my way to the stairs. When I reached them, I saw a small two-storey house. But more importantly – a light shining through one of the windows.

My knocks on the door were sharp but not that loud to catch the unwanted attention. Almost whole house was made of stones, only the upper level was partly metal. I hoped that the metal door will resonate to be heard up even without much volume.

It didn’t take long and I could hear some movement inside the house.

“The hell?” the sleepy voice said when the owner of the house opened the door and saw me. It was a man in his forties with a dirty blonde hair.

“They are chasing me. Can you help me? _Please!_ ” I pleaded with my hoarse voice. My right hand was holding the left one and I could feel my legs giving up on me.

The man didn’t waste any time, took me by the shoulder and pull me inside. “Hurry, go upstairs, kill the light and stay there.”

The man himself locked the door, put a chair against it and followed me.

We spent the next half an hour sitting in a dark room and our combined breathing was the only sound filling the room. Listening to every little noise coming from outside of the house. I was all pins and needles and my left hand hurt like hell. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down a bit. Now was not the best moment for my body to start acting on its own, could already feel the change in the air. How it thickened.

_Take a deep breath and then calmly exhale. Take a deep breath and then calmly exhale…_

I must have dozed off because the man woke me up with a gentle shake. The room was still dark except for a small lantern in man’s hand. His expression was full of concern and questions. The question he will ask, and I will have to answer them.

Beside the lamp illuminating the room, he was also holding a box. He sat down next to me and put both objects down between them. Then he opened the box and I could see its content. It was a med-kit.

“Your hand is still bleeding. I should take a look at the wound.” I only nodded and started to undo my makeshift bandages. I had to bite the inside of my mouth when rolling up my bloody sleeve. “Shadow! How long has it been like this?” the man asked when he looked at my now bare arm.

“I don’t know. I only bandaged it and kept going,” I answered, still not looking to at my hand.

“Shadow have mercy, you must be stubborn as a mole, woman!” the farmer muttered under his breath when reaching into the med-kit.

The curiosity got the best of me when the man was cleaning the wound with some disinfection. My upper arm was one big yellowish sore with a big cut reaching almost to my elbow where the piece of the bone was visible.

I quickly looked away.

The man’s hands worked gently and skillfully. After he cleaned the worst of the injury he took a needle and started stitching it as best as he could. When that was done, he wrapped my whole left hand into bandages.

The arm still hurt but it wasn’t the white pain as before. It was more of a dull ache now, dancing in the back of my head.

Then, in the fade light of that small lamp, he looked at me properly for the first time. At my clothing, specifically, and raised his thin eyebrow in surprise.

I took most of the useless gear off, but I still wore the unique Aurora blue uniform with the gloves. All the wiring on the gear and my temples basically screamed what I was.

“You are a technomancer, are you?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

All the days on the run without proper _everything_ started slowly catching up on me and all I was able to do was to nod.

“That’s new,” he said more to himself and then louder said, “Well, you are already in and I’m not the kind of guy who let someone get kill. Especially when you are hurt like this. I bet you’re hungry and thirsty, too. C’mon down. I will give you something.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, genuinely surprised by his offer.

“Yeah, yeah. Now let’s find some food for you, you’re slim as a stick.”

After I ate, the man showed me a spare bedroom and let me sleep. And for the first time in a week, I finally had a peaceful night. Even the memories didn’t decide to hunt my dreams.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“You were lucky he let you in and helped you as he did,” Andrew says when she stops with her story.

They both couldn’t sleep so Shiro continues with her story she started two days ago. Sitting against the wall of the rock they sleep under. Andrew’s chin resting on his legs folded close to his chest.

“People living away from the corporations and in these small villages can be kind. And he was one of the nicest people I’d ever met.”

“As I said – you were lucky,” Andrew repeats, his voice suddenly sadder now.

Shiro doesn’t know why exactly she took this angry and at the same time sad teen under her wings. Some inner maternal instincts she had no idea she has until seeing him straggling? Maybe one look was enough for her to see the inner conflict in him, to see he needs someone nice and kind in his life for a change. And mentors were always saying she has a protentional to be good with people, has a tendency to help them.

She still doesn’t know for sure, but she likes this teenager and is happy to help him.

And that’s why she takes him around the shoulders, gives him a half-hug and says, what she says, “Don’t lose hope, Andrew. The time in your life when everything will start going well for you will come. As it did for me.”

Lucky still looks not convinced but smiles a bit. “If you say so.”


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up when the Sun was high on the sky, with a pleasant feeling of new energy.

I looked around the simple room I spent the night in. There was a window opposite the bed with a small desk with a chair under it. A tall cabinet stood next to the door on the left side from the bed. And on the right was a small bedside table with a simple lamp.

The aroma of food reached my nonstories and my stomach informed me about a need for a food, so I stood up. However, before I went down I took my gloves and hood off. When I opened the cabinet to put the stuff there, I noticed a small mirror hanging on its door.

The woman looking back at me was so much different one than the one leaving the Source a month ago. My face was lacking all the healthy fat, my skin was dry as the plains I travelled on and my short buzz haircut was slowly starting to grow. I didn’t even recognize my own eyes. These eyes saw things I wanted to unseen. All gone was the gentle spark of happiness and youth.

The tears started to roll down my cheeks and slammed the cabinet’s door with an angry force. I was kind of disappointed when a sound of a broken mirror didn’t follow.

I found the man in the small kitchen downstairs. He was standing with his back to me, making a breakfast and humming some song. It felt so unrealistic to me. Even if it looked like he lived here alone, for me, the whole house felt more alive than the Source ever was.

I coughed to catch his attention because I didn’t come with anything better.

“Oh, you’re awake. Here, have some food.” I smiled at him and took what he was giving me. It was a mix of vegetable with some kind of bread and a cup of herbal tea.

“So,” the man started when I was half-way through my breakfast. “Let’s start simple. What’s your name? Mine is Courtesy Roberts.”

“I’m Excellence Jones. And I’m super thankful for what you did last night. And for that you let me sleep here and made a food. Thank you, really.”

“Yeah, old habits die hard… Anyway, technomancer hm?”

“Yes,” was all I answered. But when he looked at me with his green eyes I realized I owned him at least this much. “I ran away – deserted – from a battle. It was… horrible. I couldn’t stay there a minute longer, so I ran.”

“For how long?”

“A week, I think. I don’t even know where I was going. Where am I?”

“Rockden. I won’t blame ya if you still don’t know where you are. We are a small village. And you said a battle…” With that, he looked at me once again and asked, “How old are you?”

“I’ll be nineteen next month.”

He was shocked. “Shadow! And they used you as a soldier?”

“Yes… but the others – non-technomancers – they looked younger.”

“That’s messed up!” With that, the farmer turned around to do something more in the kitchen. Probably to shoo away the newly acquired information about Aurora.

I finished my meal, stood up and went to him to give him now empty and dirty plate. He took it from me with a thanks and I said, “Thank you for everything, Courtesy. I’ll just go up for my thing before I go.”

I was almost at the staircase when I heard, “You can stay for a while. At least till your hand gets better.”

Surprised, I turned to look at him. Courtesy was leaning back against the kitchen counter, looking at me. His expression completely genuine.

“I…” was all I managed to say, my brain not working, before he was talking again.

“Not many folks come here, so you don’t need to worry about that. And I can teach ya some tricks to survive out there. In return, you can help me on my field or with the stuff in-house. That’s up to you.”

“I don’t want to be a nuisance. I can get you into some real trouble if…” I said, however, my own mind was arguing with me the whole time. He was right, I was injured and weak and millions more good reason to stay. “But I don’t mind staying here,” I said in the end. “Thank you.”

“Good. Speaking of – I should look at your arm again. Can you fetch the med-kit? It’s on that shelf over there,” Courtesy said and pointed the way of the shelf.

“No problem.”

When the box was on the table, the farmer joined me and sat down next to me to have a better access to my arm. After he unwrapped the bandaged and inspected the stitches he used some very nice smelling balm. When he was finished, he bandaged my arm again.

“Ok, if you are staying here we should do something about your clothes.”

As it turned out, do something about my clothes meant to transform them into something that will shield crops from the Sun and giving me some old spare clothes.

With new strength and clothes, I could finally come out of the house. Courtesy told me that the village is spread over a set of open spaces connected by various canyons settled in the valley. His farm is in the northernmost part of the village and the nearest neighbour is like three-hundred meters away. The main water pump is in the heart of the canyons, well protected, and every land gets their water thanks to the series of pipes and canals. Moles were never a big problem in these parts and if so, they had few Hunters to deal with them.

Courtesy’s land itself is protected from three sides by tall walls of the canyons. House is shielded from the Sun more than the garden itself which is higher, too. Everything he grows is only for him and he occasionally trades something with other villages.

The few lines Courtesy said about the others was enough for me to draw a conclusion there is some tension between them. But it wasn’t my place to ask a personal question only a few hours after he let me into his house, into his life.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“So… Excellence, hm?” Andrew asks and jumps over a bigger stone, which is pretty impressive with a full backpack.

Classic mancer teenager – tireless and full of energy to spare. More so with him not using his technomancy.

They are travelling on a well-used route. They already met two caravans today, one even offered them to join. However, both travellers like their way of travelling so they politely declined the offer and continued on foot. However, that can get quite boring, so Shiro is again telling him her story.

“Yes. Though, I haven’t used it since then.”

“Why did you start using ‘Shiro’?”

Andrew is full of questions about her tale, about her. And she doesn’t mind. After all, that’s why she is telling him all of this. And sometimes, Andrew tells her something new about himself, in return.

“Why did you stop using your name, ‘ _Lucky_ ’?”

“’Cause I didn’t feel like him… I get your point. It feels nice hearing it again, tho. Can I call you Excellence?”

“No,” Shiro says and Andrew turns at her with a question written all over his face. “There is close to nothing of Excellence left in me. I stopped being her the moment I run away, she transformed into Shiro – into mine real me. You, however, you are still Andrew. Even if you don’t feel like it. Trust me, the fact you like being called by that name proofs it.”

“Alright then,” Andrew sighs. “By the way, it’s weird to imagine you with a buzz cut. The long hair really suits you.”

“Thank you, I think that myself,” Shiro says and smooths the end of her long braid.


	4. Chapter 4

_When the first technomancer in our lines died, I felt it more than saw it. The static in the air changed – their charge was suddenly missing. And I only realized what that means when I felt more of the changes vanishing. The absence is suffocating. And every new change in the air gives me a scare, no matter if it’s just someone using their powers. And when one the technomancers farther in the battlefield overloads, the sudden shock almost knocks the air out of my lungs._

_Deep within my… soul is the best word to describe it – I can feel the last of their existence leaving this world._

I woke up breathing heavily, almost swimming in my sweat. The dark room filled with the charge, my short hair standing. It was still deep in the night and the house, as well as its surroundings, were quiet.

I was glad I didn’t wake up the owner of the house.

I sat, closed my eyes and tried to calm down. Thoughts were flying thru my mind. Lingering images or feelings. I needed to separate them, to sort them out, to be at peace with at least some of them. I also listened to the bats flying outside, their echolocation more audible thanks to the canyons’ walls. Or to the wind playing with stems of the plant in the garden.

I must lie down and fall asleep at some point because the next time I opened my eyes, the room was filled with the light. I even could hear Courtesy working up in the garden. I sat on the edge of the bed, stretched my hands above my head and yawned. But it was more a ‘just because’ yawn because I felt pretty well rested despite my mid-night episode.

When I open the small closet to take my cloth on, I looked into that small mirror hanging on its door. I ignored it since the first day. But now, almost two weeks later, my eyes were somehow drawn to it.

My face had a much healthier colour, all gone were these awful bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and my eyes looked… better, happier?

And then there was my hair.

As it was slowly growing so was Courtesy’s beard, too. What was a clean shaved face just a few days back was now a nice start for a bushy beard. And he wore it pretty handsomely. My hair, on the other hand, was all awkward. Despite it was still pretty short, it was standing or laying in every possible angle. Its weight unfamiliar on my head, but it felt good. Right.

When I dressed up, I left the room with a smile.

I spend the day helping Courtesy with the crops. Working in the field, with my hands, was strangely relaxing for me. The heat was unbearable the first few couple of days, but I got used to it. Amongst other things, Courtesy taught me how and what to wear to protects myself from the Sun and the heat. Like a piece of cloth on my head to cover my skin until my hair will do it.

When the Sun was high and even Courtesy couldn’t stand the temperature, we went inside the house to make ourselves something to eat.

“You maybe should do something about the-” Courtesy pointed at my temples and after a moment he could not find a proper word, added, “these things.”

“My implants you mean?” He nodded. “Yeah, I should. Will you help me? I could do it myself but…”

“Well, only if it’s not very painful,” he offered, hesitantly.

“Oh, don’t worry. The metal parts attached to the inner implants are rather easy to remove. The second part can get trickier but nothing worse than my hand,” I joked and got a very unamused look from him.

My hand was getting slowly better thanks to the herbal balm Courtesy used but it still didn’t look well. The stitches were still too raw, and the bruises started a new stage of colours. However, the worst was the area above my elbow where the bone was visible before. There was a big chunk of meat missing and stitches could do only little for it to heal properly in the future. Luckily, the pain was bearable.

“What do you need?”

“Hmm. Your med-kit, some small and sharp knife and that small mirror from the cabinet upstairs would be handy.”

When all laid on the table, I sat on the chair and started telling him what and how it needs to be done. As a younger apprentice, I was helping a few times when someone was getting their implants upgraded, so I knew a few things about that.

“First, I will remove all additional metal pieces attached to the ports.” This was easy, and the metal was now resting in my palm. I was really glad that I had a simple version and my implants were connected to my skin only at the temples. I took the mirror and arranged it in my hand, so I could see now empty ports. “Now the trickiest part. Can you see these two wider wires going deeper under my skin?” I asked, running my finger over them. “You need to take the knife and cut the skin above them.”

“Can’t we just leave them there or pull them out?” Courtesy asked, not pleased by the idea of cutting.

“It will be less painful this way. You don’t need to do big or long cuts, but deep enough to reach the wires.”

“Ok, put the mirror away and I’ll start.”

The skin around the implant is always sensitive so cutting into it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

As soon as he was finished, Courtesy asked, “What now?”

Before I explained what I’ll do, I grabbed the last part between my fingers and pull it out. The whole piece clicked out of another port deeper in my skull. I may have screamed a little while doing so.

“Shadow!” Courtesy coursed loudly, watching me in shock. Then he blinked a few times and reached for a piece of gauze and put it on a new wound. There must have been some disinfection on it because is stung as Sun itself. “You’re alright?”

I took a few deep breaths to make the white spots go away. “Yeah… yes, I think so. Now just do the same on the other side.”

“Right. You could at least warn me, you know?” he said, and I shrugged.

As the days were passing I felt better and better.

My hand was getting better too thanks to the herbal balm Courtesy used but it still didn’t look well. There was a big dent above my elbow where the bone was visible before and the bruises started yet another stage of colours. Luckily, the pain was almost gone. Appearing only after I moved my arm a certain way.

My body was getting stronger and my before tired muscles were getting used to the hard work on the farm.

I also started wandering around the areas near Courtesy’s farm, farther from the valley where the rest of the village was. I was discovering caves in the walls of the canyons or old and abounded houses, walking through the uninhabited spaces. The fields of these abounded farms went wild. Many plants requiring water died but there were still so many different plants just growing in once used and still fertile soil.

With every new day I wandered farther and farther. But never leaving the safety of the valley and I was always back at the farm before the dawn.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“What all did he teach you?”

“Plants that I can eat or find some precious water in. How to orientate by stars in the deepest of the night. How and what to hunt. What to use to make a fire. I could go on like this for a long time – he taught me just about anything I use daily now.”

“And what about your technomancy. That you had to learn by yourself, no?”

“Yes. Though I knew almost everything I know from the years spent in the Source. I heard that Aurorans are taught more than you guys from Abundance. But I won’t lie, there were few surprises waiting for me during my travellers. But I manage as will you. How’s your head anyway?”

Andrew had one of the bad days and they had to stop and make a camp. Despite the help and advice, she gave him, his powers still act on their own sometimes. The side effects are in the spectrum from a headache – as today – to full-time migraines with small surges.

“Better. I think it’s slowly fading away. Can you hand me the bottle over?”

“Sure,” Shiro says and reaches into her bag. “And you should try to sleep or at least close your eyes, Pumpkin. I will go and catch our lunch.”

Andrew doesn’t say anything to that, only lays down and wraps himself into a blanket cocoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you WahlBuilder for your amazing headcanon about mancers! <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka matryoshka story

I was coming back from one of my wanders and when I walked into the open space where the farm was, I saw Courtesy talking with some younger man. His dark hair was partly hidden under a boater. His sleeves were rolled up, showing his tanned and muscular arms. A small cart full of boxes was parked behind him.

“Roberts,” the newcomer greeted the farmer with a dry, almost hostile tone.

“Willingham,” Courtesy returned with the same level of excitement. I’d never seen him like this before, so cold. “Have that mole fat and corn for me?”

“Sure, as long as you have the cacao.” Courtesy nodded at him and reached for a bag on the windowsill. Meanwhile, I walked closer and the man’s eyes landed on me. And he frowned. “Is that another of your stray dogs, Roberts?” Willingham asked and pointed my way with his head. It was more an accusation than a question.

I immediately disliked him.

I couldn’t see Courtesy’s face clearly, but I could see how the tension was written all over his body. However, his voice was hate-free and calm, but sharp as a razor when he said, “And what about it, Sincerity.”

Now it was Roberts who was showing emotions all over his body. The hatred was basically sparkling in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Only exchanged the packages and turned to leave.

By that time, I was halfway to the house.

“Asshole,” Courtesy said and turned around to enter the house. His steps fast and sharp. I knew that something was very wrong, so I followed him into the house. When inside I heard him talking, more to himself than to me. “I bet he came just to piss me off. He is his father’s son after all!”

I had a need to say something, apologize. “I’m sorry if I-”

But he stopped me with, “Don’t be, Exie. He would find another reason why to spit on me. You were just unfortunate enough to be in the wrong time in the wrong place.”

“Still…” I tried to – I don’t even know what I was trying to do. I went closer to him, put a hand on his shoulder and asked, “Are you alright?”

“No.” He sounded so vulnerable.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Want to listen old man cryin’ about his belly-ache?” he said. And although it sounded like a joke, it wasn’t.

“Maybe I do,” I said and smiled at him gently. “As long as you are comfortable with telling me.”

“If you insist…” he sighed and ran his hand over his face. Then he pointed to the kitchen. “Second shelf from the right, all the way at the wall. There is a bottle and you know where the glasses are.”

Whatever he was going to tell me must be seriously bad because I’d never seen him drinking. I walked into the kitchen, reached for the bottle, grabbed two glasses and went back to him. I sat on the chair opposite of him and poured us drinks. The moment his glass was full, he took it and drowned it in one go. I raised an eyebrow seeing it, but I poured him another. This time, he took the glass and looking at it with a sad expression he was turning it between his palms.

“I’m living here, on this farm, my whole life. My father died when I was young, so I don’t remember much of him, but that’s not important. What is, that it was me, my mother and my sister living here after his death. My sister – Frugality – was younger by six years…” There was a short pause and thanks to that I knew this truly won’t be a happy story. I drunk from my glass, hoping it will somehow shield me. “Anyway, my mother was always a kind soul and helped everywhere she could. To cut it short – you are not the first lost soul who found a refuge in this farm. They were mutants fleeing from now-closed mine not far from here. My mother gave them some food, water and place to spend a night before they were on their way Shadow knows where. I have nothing against it, never believed in all the religious bullshit, and my sister was as kind as my mother was. Even back then not many folks came here, but…” Another pause and another glass emptied. “I don’t know how and when exactly the shit hit the fan but someone from the village found out. They maybe saw a mutant leaving our farm or… I don’t know. Suddenly they knew, and many didn’t like it. Still don’t… We had like four or five mutants here that day. A bunch of the folks from the village came here to, I don’t even know what they wanted but then there was my normally calm mother arguing with old Hard. Standing there as a solid wall, the last defence between the villages and the poor mutants.”

When I looked at Courtesy I saw tears rolling down his cheeks, the glass in a firm grasp in his right hand. I took his left hand into mine and squeezed it to show him he was not alone.

“But the villages had a greater number and they were really angry. The next thing I remember is that the hell itself happened.” Courtesy’s voice was almost a whisper, sentences between sobs. “Fists and knives were flying thru the air, aiming at the mutants. What I didn’t know was that my sixteen years old sister was standing amongst them, trying to defend them… When she looked at me, holding her belly, blood slowly pooling on her dress I saw red. I killed two and injured a bunch of them before someone was holding me down.”

“I’m so sorry, Courtesy,” I said, knowing it won’t ease his pain but hoping it can somehow help.

“The aftermath was that all the mutants were death, along with my sister and two of these ass-holes. We were allowed to stay here… I again don’t know exactly why or how. That was between my mother and the elders of the village. After my mother died a few months later, her heart was weak after all that shitshow, I stayed.” He cleared his throat and wiped the tears. “I could just leave but I was – _am_ – too stubborn to let them have that satisfaction. I will be a living reminder of what they did till the day I die.”

I had nothing to say, couldn’t find any suitable words so I stood up, went around the table and hugged him. And when he started crying again, I could feel my own cheeks getting wet.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This is a part of her story Shiro won’t tell. It’s Courtesy’s story to tell and spreading it without him knowing feels very wrong.

Not even when Andrew is looking at her, curious to hear an answer to his previous question. Question about what kind of tension there was between the old man and the rest of the folks in the village.

All she can do is to give Andrew a short version.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another example that characters in stories are living their own lives without asking their author for permission. Courtesy went thru many changes, but this story is very his, the turning point of his character. And I am so proud of what he became.
> 
> I'd never written this big chunk of one person talking so I hope that Courtesy's lines were readable.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been roughly a month since the day I met Courtesy. Since he let me in and offered me to stay. And don’t get me wrong, I was grateful. Thanks to him I’m where I am now, know what I know.

But my legs and my heart wanted to take me over the horizon. My every-day travels were getting longer and longer. I’d even spent a night outside the farm, laying under the sky full of stars.

Both me and Courtesy knew that one day I will not come back, that one day I will leave this save and peaceful place. And we both knew that if that day will come I will not disappear without good-bye and not without Courtesy giving me some proper supplies.

It took me another week to gather the willpower to say goodbye to this peaceful life, to this tranquillity and mainly - to Courtesy.

When I woke up and dressed up I took all my things down with me. Courtesy, as always, was already in the kitchen making us some breakfast. The aroma of tomatoes frying on the pan was filling the whole lower part of the house.

“You’re leaving today, are you? For good,” he said the moment he turned to face me.

I was standing there in my travelling clothes, my hood and gloves on and with a backpack just behind me on the ground.

“Yeah,” I nodded, feeling guilty for no reason.

He took a deep breath, looked down and smiled a bit sadly. Then he took the two plates with the food and went to the table. I sat down and thanked him as he gave me my plate. We ate in silence, not knowing what to say. And even when we finished eating, we just sat there, none of us wanted to do the first step. I used all my willpower to finally got up and took the plates to the sink in the kitchen.

“Well then,” I heard Courtesy also getting up, “I should find you some supplies and an old canteen I have.”

“Need help?”

“No. You should go over all the things you have packed and find out if you’re not missing anything.”

“Sure.”

The moments between us never were this awkward.

As soon as we left the house I hugged him, and I felt tears in my eyes. My heart was on the crossroads. Half of it wanted to stay here but the other wanted to leave – both forces equal. I don’t know for how long we stood there but then I cleared my throat and made a step back.

I look into his green eyes and, for like a billionth time, said, “Thank you, Courtesy. For everything.”

Courtesy ruffled my hair and smiled at me. “You’re welcome, kid. Just take good care of yourself out there and remember everything I taught you. Otherwise, it would be a waste of time.”

“If I remember at least half of it right that you don’t need to worry about me, Courtesy. And you too take care. Will miss you,” I said and kissed his cheek. “Goodbye!”

“Goodbye, Exie.”

We waved at each other for a last time and I left the farm.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Have you ever come back? To visit him again?” Andrew asks and licks his fingers.

They reached a small town today and are now sitting near the main square. Watching the happenings around them while eating some bought food. It was delicious.

“No, I haven’t.”

“Maybe we could go. I think he would be happy to see you.”

Shiro is quiet for a while, thinking about this idea. And before she says, “Maybe we could… I miss him now more than ever,” her brain’s already planning how to get to that paradise on Mars.

“Really?” Andrew asks, turning to look at her. His eyes big with surprise and a big smile all over his face.

“Yes, really. Let’s pay that old man a visit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UF! This last chapter was hard to write!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading and potential kudos or comment(s) you'll leave. Means a lot! I hope you like it.
> 
> And as always, a big **THANK YOU** to all the wonderful souls on our Technomancer discord. You are the biggest source of inspiration I can wish for. Stay awesome!  <3
> 
> I apologize for any potential mistakes or misspells, shout at me if you found any. <3


End file.
